WEEK 10 REPORT

Ministry Activities

5:30-6:00 run back and forth between youth group and my dorm
6:00-6:30 Practice Worship set
6:30-7:00 Wander the rooms keeping the kids under control
7:00-7:15 Main session
7:15-7:25 I lead worship
7:25-7:50 Mike preaches
7:50-8:30 Hang out and keep order
8:30-8:45 Close up shop

Personal Reflection

This is the last week that I am required to be at Bodyshop. It is a strange feeling talking to these kids and knowing that I may only see them again the next week. Speaking to Matt (the drummer kid) in particular was weird. He assumes that I will be back next year and is encouraging me to pick up base in order to help out the worship band. I do not know what to say. I do not feel like I am "doing" any ministry here. I have no basis with which to connect to these kids. I come from a completely different background and I do not do the same activities that they do. They skateboard, play football, are gangsters and emos. I play video games, guitar, and ultimate frisbee and am a nerdy college student. I grew up in the church, these kids grew up without it. If I cannot minister to these kids, how am I supposed to minister to the rest of the world. I feel perfectly comfortable ministering to other Christians, but I have no real experience working with the rest of the world. Even going to public schools all my life have not helped that score. I feel inadequate. I know God works through inadequate tools, but He also gifted us each individually to work in a certain way. I hope I can find the way He wants me to serve.

Spiritual Life

I have started doing devos in the afternoon, which is good because I am more awake for them. They have been pretty consistent. I feel beaten by sin sometimes. I know I have victory through Christ, but I want to be able to live the life that He wants me to live. I struggle with the idea that Christ loves me no matter what I do and that He would rather have me live a perfect life. How do I truly believe the former or accomplish the latter? I would like to be able to do both, but I struggle with my flesh. I do not want to sin anymore, but sometimes my body thirsts for things I know that I should stay away from. How can I live perfectly? And if I cannot, what am I supposed to do?