I was a babysitter for 10 weeks. I spent my time keeping kids from making out and from beating each other up. There was some time where I was able to build relationships with the students, but they mostly wanted to hang out with their friends. My problem is that most of the students in this ministry are geared toward activities that I have not even dabbled in. I learned that in a setting like the one at College Wesleyan church, where there are that many kids, having a large number of staff members is a must. The number of adults caring for the kids has to increase as the attendance increases or the ministry will suffer.
My supervisor and I did not spend much time together. Most of my supervised time was me observing him at work within the youth group. I did not see him planning the group activities or writing his sermons. We did have one talk where I learned that he is actually going into prevention of juvenile misdemeanors. I learned that the youth pastor attracts kids that have a similar background to him. He comes from a hard life where he ended up making a lot of bad decisions and many of the kids seem like they come from the same background. I also learned that I need to meet kids where they are at. These kids needed to hear the basic biblical truths because they had no church background and that is exactly what Mike is giving them.
I have learned a lot about myself and how I would work in a ministry setting like this one. After this experience I believe that youth ministry is not for me. Even now I find it difficult to relate to the kids in culture. I know that I really enjoy working with the leadership team and that organization might be my gift.
This practicum has been a gradual downhill slope. I started out pretty hopeful and excited for this new opportunity, but as time passed I became less sure that I was supposed to minister to kids. Even with all the preparation and study in class, as well as 6 years attending a youth group, I cannot seem to connect to these kids. My spiritual journey has been consistent in the disciplines, but inconsistent in the results. It leads me to the conclusion that I am not made for youth Ministry.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
WEEK 10 REPORT
Ministry Activities
5:30-6:00 run back and forth between youth group and my dorm
6:00-6:30 Practice Worship set
6:30-7:00 Wander the rooms keeping the kids under control
7:00-7:15 Main session
7:15-7:25 I lead worship
7:25-7:50 Mike preaches
7:50-8:30 Hang out and keep order
8:30-8:45 Close up shop
Personal Reflection
This is the last week that I am required to be at Bodyshop. It is a strange feeling talking to these kids and knowing that I may only see them again the next week. Speaking to Matt (the drummer kid) in particular was weird. He assumes that I will be back next year and is encouraging me to pick up base in order to help out the worship band. I do not know what to say. I do not feel like I am "doing" any ministry here. I have no basis with which to connect to these kids. I come from a completely different background and I do not do the same activities that they do. They skateboard, play football, are gangsters and emos. I play video games, guitar, and ultimate frisbee and am a nerdy college student. I grew up in the church, these kids grew up without it. If I cannot minister to these kids, how am I supposed to minister to the rest of the world. I feel perfectly comfortable ministering to other Christians, but I have no real experience working with the rest of the world. Even going to public schools all my life have not helped that score. I feel inadequate. I know God works through inadequate tools, but He also gifted us each individually to work in a certain way. I hope I can find the way He wants me to serve.
Spiritual Life
I have started doing devos in the afternoon, which is good because I am more awake for them. They have been pretty consistent. I feel beaten by sin sometimes. I know I have victory through Christ, but I want to be able to live the life that He wants me to live. I struggle with the idea that Christ loves me no matter what I do and that He would rather have me live a perfect life. How do I truly believe the former or accomplish the latter? I would like to be able to do both, but I struggle with my flesh. I do not want to sin anymore, but sometimes my body thirsts for things I know that I should stay away from. How can I live perfectly? And if I cannot, what am I supposed to do?
5:30-6:00 run back and forth between youth group and my dorm
6:00-6:30 Practice Worship set
6:30-7:00 Wander the rooms keeping the kids under control
7:00-7:15 Main session
7:15-7:25 I lead worship
7:25-7:50 Mike preaches
7:50-8:30 Hang out and keep order
8:30-8:45 Close up shop
Personal Reflection
This is the last week that I am required to be at Bodyshop. It is a strange feeling talking to these kids and knowing that I may only see them again the next week. Speaking to Matt (the drummer kid) in particular was weird. He assumes that I will be back next year and is encouraging me to pick up base in order to help out the worship band. I do not know what to say. I do not feel like I am "doing" any ministry here. I have no basis with which to connect to these kids. I come from a completely different background and I do not do the same activities that they do. They skateboard, play football, are gangsters and emos. I play video games, guitar, and ultimate frisbee and am a nerdy college student. I grew up in the church, these kids grew up without it. If I cannot minister to these kids, how am I supposed to minister to the rest of the world. I feel perfectly comfortable ministering to other Christians, but I have no real experience working with the rest of the world. Even going to public schools all my life have not helped that score. I feel inadequate. I know God works through inadequate tools, but He also gifted us each individually to work in a certain way. I hope I can find the way He wants me to serve.
Spiritual Life
I have started doing devos in the afternoon, which is good because I am more awake for them. They have been pretty consistent. I feel beaten by sin sometimes. I know I have victory through Christ, but I want to be able to live the life that He wants me to live. I struggle with the idea that Christ loves me no matter what I do and that He would rather have me live a perfect life. How do I truly believe the former or accomplish the latter? I would like to be able to do both, but I struggle with my flesh. I do not want to sin anymore, but sometimes my body thirsts for things I know that I should stay away from. How can I live perfectly? And if I cannot, what am I supposed to do?
WEEK 9 REPORT
Ministry Activities
5:00-6:00 hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45 Monitor upper room
6:45-7:45 Main meeting with worship, games, and sermon
7:45-8:30 Monitor upper room
8:30-9:00 close up shop
Personal Reflection
Small groups are gone. Pastor Mike decided to nix them because we had too few staff people. I agree, but it is a shame because Jess had been having some success with her group opening up and talking. I hope that they are able to get them up and running next year because they were one of the most helpful parts of my youth group experience. The kids were less crazy this week. The sermon "the 411 on Hell" was pretty interesting. I think Pastor Mike is doing a really good job of letting the kids in on basic biblical truths. With this group he really does have to start at the beginning. He presents it in a real, practical, quick, manner. The kids generally listen to him when he preaches. I do not think that youth ministry is my field. It is hard for me to relate to middle schoolers. I still plan to go into ministry, but may be somewhere else.
Spiritual Life
I had an interesting experience this last week while preparing for unit devotionals. I had to present my persuasion speech to my unit on why we should be doing daily personal bible study. I was into the bible a lot this past week and I was also reading a bunch of different Christian authors. I found a lot of peace and satisfaction out of that study. It was another confirmation that I may be called to ministry. I have decided to declare a major in the ministry field, but I am not sure which. I hope the guys in my unit are connecting to God through our unit devos. It is really hard to tell during devos because they all carry pretty blank expressions. Some guys speak up, which is good, but I do not know about some of them.
5:00-6:00 hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45 Monitor upper room
6:45-7:45 Main meeting with worship, games, and sermon
7:45-8:30 Monitor upper room
8:30-9:00 close up shop
Personal Reflection
Small groups are gone. Pastor Mike decided to nix them because we had too few staff people. I agree, but it is a shame because Jess had been having some success with her group opening up and talking. I hope that they are able to get them up and running next year because they were one of the most helpful parts of my youth group experience. The kids were less crazy this week. The sermon "the 411 on Hell" was pretty interesting. I think Pastor Mike is doing a really good job of letting the kids in on basic biblical truths. With this group he really does have to start at the beginning. He presents it in a real, practical, quick, manner. The kids generally listen to him when he preaches. I do not think that youth ministry is my field. It is hard for me to relate to middle schoolers. I still plan to go into ministry, but may be somewhere else.
Spiritual Life
I had an interesting experience this last week while preparing for unit devotionals. I had to present my persuasion speech to my unit on why we should be doing daily personal bible study. I was into the bible a lot this past week and I was also reading a bunch of different Christian authors. I found a lot of peace and satisfaction out of that study. It was another confirmation that I may be called to ministry. I have decided to declare a major in the ministry field, but I am not sure which. I hope the guys in my unit are connecting to God through our unit devos. It is really hard to tell during devos because they all carry pretty blank expressions. Some guys speak up, which is good, but I do not know about some of them.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
WEEK 8 REPORT
Ministry Activities
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor the upper loft
6:45-7:40--> Main program and worship
7:40-8:05--> Small Group meeting
8:05-8:30--> Monitor the upper room
Personal Reflection
This week was pretty difficult. It started out alright working the upper room. My main job was to keep people from completely destroying the air hockey table and the ping pong table that are already in heavy disrepair. I got into a game of XBOX football with Grant and then the main meeting started up. The kids acted like they always do: not paying attention and talking to each other. That is, until Britten started speaking. There were still a few kids talking, but it seemed to me like most were listenign or at least speaking very softly. Britten had a really good message to tell. I did not know all that he said about his past. I hope these kids can learn something from it. Small groups were difficult. There were a few kids giving actual answers, but the trouble makers kept throwing in random comments they thought were funny and getting us off track. I think I need to be more in control as far as making sure everybody shuts up so that one person can speak at a time. This needs to be a place where everyone's voice can be heard. It's difficult knowing that most of these kids won't be in the group the next year and I don't have time to actually help impact them in the way I would like to. After small groups it seemed like everyone wanted to get in a fight. I had to break up a bunch of people that were just "joking" or "messing around". I am going to make a point to Britten or Pastor Mike that they need to bring this up. The kids need to know that it's not ok. As the kids were waiting for rides I had to police them out in the rain. By the time I got out there it did not seem like I needed to be because the kids seemed to be behaving pretty well. I don't think all this craziness is for me.
Spiritual Life
I've been in the word more recently, which is good, but it is hard to pull out pertinent info out of Ezekiel. I don't even really understand what is going on. One minute it seems like he is having a vision and the next something is happening in the real world. I still pray at meals, but I need to make some time to just pray to God. I want to talk to Him, but I let schoolwork and friends push that out of my schedule so that I hardly think about it. I've been having some success over temptation. I've realized that I am wired a certain way and that as long as I do not let my mind wander I will be alright. Take every thought captive. I hope that I will still be empowered to do so.
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor the upper loft
6:45-7:40--> Main program and worship
7:40-8:05--> Small Group meeting
8:05-8:30--> Monitor the upper room
Personal Reflection
This week was pretty difficult. It started out alright working the upper room. My main job was to keep people from completely destroying the air hockey table and the ping pong table that are already in heavy disrepair. I got into a game of XBOX football with Grant and then the main meeting started up. The kids acted like they always do: not paying attention and talking to each other. That is, until Britten started speaking. There were still a few kids talking, but it seemed to me like most were listenign or at least speaking very softly. Britten had a really good message to tell. I did not know all that he said about his past. I hope these kids can learn something from it. Small groups were difficult. There were a few kids giving actual answers, but the trouble makers kept throwing in random comments they thought were funny and getting us off track. I think I need to be more in control as far as making sure everybody shuts up so that one person can speak at a time. This needs to be a place where everyone's voice can be heard. It's difficult knowing that most of these kids won't be in the group the next year and I don't have time to actually help impact them in the way I would like to. After small groups it seemed like everyone wanted to get in a fight. I had to break up a bunch of people that were just "joking" or "messing around". I am going to make a point to Britten or Pastor Mike that they need to bring this up. The kids need to know that it's not ok. As the kids were waiting for rides I had to police them out in the rain. By the time I got out there it did not seem like I needed to be because the kids seemed to be behaving pretty well. I don't think all this craziness is for me.
Spiritual Life
I've been in the word more recently, which is good, but it is hard to pull out pertinent info out of Ezekiel. I don't even really understand what is going on. One minute it seems like he is having a vision and the next something is happening in the real world. I still pray at meals, but I need to make some time to just pray to God. I want to talk to Him, but I let schoolwork and friends push that out of my schedule so that I hardly think about it. I've been having some success over temptation. I've realized that I am wired a certain way and that as long as I do not let my mind wander I will be alright. Take every thought captive. I hope that I will still be empowered to do so.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
WEEK 7 REPORT: SMALL GROUPS BEGIN
Ministry Activities
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and have a staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor the main room
6:45-7:15--> Keep kids listening to the anouncements and break the kids into small groups
7:15-8:10--> Meet my small group and build us together through some activities
8:10-Close--> Monitor the kids and close up shop
Personal Reflection
This week gave me a lot of hope for the group. Small groups were some of my most fond memories of my youth group back home. It is a place where I can really get to know the kids and since the groups were randomly assigned within grade, I got a group of guys who will get to know each other too. I hope we will be able to get along and actually have good conversation. I want people to actually think about some of the bigger questions. My guys seemed to get along pretty well. My biggest issue with these groups is that I am not going to be there during the summer. These kids need continuity in the staff and small group leaders. If every semester they get a different sponser to lead their small group and they are with different guys, it will not be nearly as effective. If they could stay with the same guys and with the same staff a trusting relationship will be gained all around. Ten weeks is simply not enough time to build that kind of trust. Not to mention we started them seven weeks in. If we stop coming in three weeks, small groups will be an interesting experiment that did no good.
Spiritual Life
I've really been struggling with some temptation this week. It is hard to keep up a solid prayer life and devotional life. Hopefully Spring Break will be a time of rejuvination and reorientation. I need to get back on track, but at least I can recognize that. Sometimes I hate the fact that I am human and have to constantly struggle against my flesh and the devil. It is hard for me to see the way out that God provides. I wish He would just take away the need to fight.
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and have a staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor the main room
6:45-7:15--> Keep kids listening to the anouncements and break the kids into small groups
7:15-8:10--> Meet my small group and build us together through some activities
8:10-Close--> Monitor the kids and close up shop
Personal Reflection
This week gave me a lot of hope for the group. Small groups were some of my most fond memories of my youth group back home. It is a place where I can really get to know the kids and since the groups were randomly assigned within grade, I got a group of guys who will get to know each other too. I hope we will be able to get along and actually have good conversation. I want people to actually think about some of the bigger questions. My guys seemed to get along pretty well. My biggest issue with these groups is that I am not going to be there during the summer. These kids need continuity in the staff and small group leaders. If every semester they get a different sponser to lead their small group and they are with different guys, it will not be nearly as effective. If they could stay with the same guys and with the same staff a trusting relationship will be gained all around. Ten weeks is simply not enough time to build that kind of trust. Not to mention we started them seven weeks in. If we stop coming in three weeks, small groups will be an interesting experiment that did no good.
Spiritual Life
I've really been struggling with some temptation this week. It is hard to keep up a solid prayer life and devotional life. Hopefully Spring Break will be a time of rejuvination and reorientation. I need to get back on track, but at least I can recognize that. Sometimes I hate the fact that I am human and have to constantly struggle against my flesh and the devil. It is hard for me to see the way out that God provides. I wish He would just take away the need to fight.
WEEK 6 REPORT: GAME DAY
Ministry Activities
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor kids in the main room. Keep order
6:45-7:15--> Keep kids listening to announcements and directions
7:15-8:15--> Lead a group of kids through the activities of the night
8:15-Close--> Keep order in the main room.
Personal Reflection
This week seemed like a filler. The kids hung out and had fun, but we did not have any teaching or worship. It is good to have time for the kids just to have fun, but they can have fun anywhere. It is our place to present Christ. People might tell me "preach Christ at all times and if necessary use words", but I believe that youth group is a place Christ ought to be exemplified and taught. Granted, they almost alway bring it up, but this week it was just a club. I hope it had a better impact than I saw. My group was pretty cooperative and we came in second place after all the games were said and done. We had a couple issues, but that is to be expected when dealing with middle school kids. Overall they tried to work together and have fun. I don't like having to monitor the main room. I relate best to kids through events. Doing things with them or presenting things to them work best for me. I need to work on getting to know the kids through just talking and hanging out.
Spiritual Life
Devos have been going pretty well and I have been working hard on beating temptation. I have come to a realization about prayer. When asking God for action or strength I need to keep in mind His plan. From here on out I intend to make sure that I recognize the limited scope of my knowledge and that what I think would be best might not be. It helps me keep perspective when I pray that God would work out His plan. I still ask Him to do what I think would help, but I make sure to recognize in my prayer that God's plan is higher than I can understand a lot of the time.
5:00-6:00--> Hang out with staff and staff meeting
6:00-6:45--> Monitor kids in the main room. Keep order
6:45-7:15--> Keep kids listening to announcements and directions
7:15-8:15--> Lead a group of kids through the activities of the night
8:15-Close--> Keep order in the main room.
Personal Reflection
This week seemed like a filler. The kids hung out and had fun, but we did not have any teaching or worship. It is good to have time for the kids just to have fun, but they can have fun anywhere. It is our place to present Christ. People might tell me "preach Christ at all times and if necessary use words", but I believe that youth group is a place Christ ought to be exemplified and taught. Granted, they almost alway bring it up, but this week it was just a club. I hope it had a better impact than I saw. My group was pretty cooperative and we came in second place after all the games were said and done. We had a couple issues, but that is to be expected when dealing with middle school kids. Overall they tried to work together and have fun. I don't like having to monitor the main room. I relate best to kids through events. Doing things with them or presenting things to them work best for me. I need to work on getting to know the kids through just talking and hanging out.
Spiritual Life
Devos have been going pretty well and I have been working hard on beating temptation. I have come to a realization about prayer. When asking God for action or strength I need to keep in mind His plan. From here on out I intend to make sure that I recognize the limited scope of my knowledge and that what I think would be best might not be. It helps me keep perspective when I pray that God would work out His plan. I still ask Him to do what I think would help, but I make sure to recognize in my prayer that God's plan is higher than I can understand a lot of the time.
WEEK 5 REPORT: SABBATH
Sabbath Remembrances
The spiritual discipline of sabbath used to be something that my parents enforced or that I exploited to get out of doing work. I was pretty good about it in high school, largely because my parents would not let me go out or do anything with my friends on the weekend until my homework was all finished. I loved and hated that rule. Sometimes I would have a bunch of homework and would not be able to go out, but it was great knowing that I had nothing else that I had to accomplish that weekend.
Snow day Sabbath
Nothing to do. There were no responsiblities. Well, at least no responsibilities that I would let myself think too much about. My greatest mistake was not going immediately back to sleep after I heard that class was canceled. No, I wanted to make the most of this day so I stayed up and played video games. Unfortunately, this left me fried for the rest of the day. If I had had class that day I probably would not have paid any attention anyway. It was incredible to just hang out with people, go see a movie, and then hang out with people again. It was fellowship. Not the cheap forced kind we try to make at youth group sometime, but the real relationship building, fun, inner healing kind of fellowship. Love abounded on campus that day. We all had a common denominator: No Class. I believe that this is what made these days so special. It was not that there was a bunch of snow outside, that there were a bunch of activities available, or even that there was not class. It was that for that day, we were all the same. We did different things, hung out with different people, and had different experiences that day, but we were all free to do whatever we wanted. This feeling tied us all together. Christ should be this way. He ought to be the common denominator that makes every day seem like a party. We should have that real fellowship with each other because we are all the same. There are no jocks, geeks, cool, slacker, punk, or whatever else. We are all CHRISTIANS dang it! We are free in Christ. We have inner healing, security, contentment, righteousness, compassion, purpose, and so much else from God. If we had snow day sabbath and snow day community all the time then people would want Christianity more than the disease we sometimes portray it as. So many Christians do not realize what benefit they get from being in relationship with Christ. This is what my sabbath taught me. It taught me about community and rest in Christ. He wants us to have a blast just hanging out with each other at least once a week. I am going to strive this semester to keep my sundays open for sabbath. I know this might mean sacrificing some Friday and Saturday time, but I believe that it will be totally worth it.
The spiritual discipline of sabbath used to be something that my parents enforced or that I exploited to get out of doing work. I was pretty good about it in high school, largely because my parents would not let me go out or do anything with my friends on the weekend until my homework was all finished. I loved and hated that rule. Sometimes I would have a bunch of homework and would not be able to go out, but it was great knowing that I had nothing else that I had to accomplish that weekend.
Snow day Sabbath
Nothing to do. There were no responsiblities. Well, at least no responsibilities that I would let myself think too much about. My greatest mistake was not going immediately back to sleep after I heard that class was canceled. No, I wanted to make the most of this day so I stayed up and played video games. Unfortunately, this left me fried for the rest of the day. If I had had class that day I probably would not have paid any attention anyway. It was incredible to just hang out with people, go see a movie, and then hang out with people again. It was fellowship. Not the cheap forced kind we try to make at youth group sometime, but the real relationship building, fun, inner healing kind of fellowship. Love abounded on campus that day. We all had a common denominator: No Class. I believe that this is what made these days so special. It was not that there was a bunch of snow outside, that there were a bunch of activities available, or even that there was not class. It was that for that day, we were all the same. We did different things, hung out with different people, and had different experiences that day, but we were all free to do whatever we wanted. This feeling tied us all together. Christ should be this way. He ought to be the common denominator that makes every day seem like a party. We should have that real fellowship with each other because we are all the same. There are no jocks, geeks, cool, slacker, punk, or whatever else. We are all CHRISTIANS dang it! We are free in Christ. We have inner healing, security, contentment, righteousness, compassion, purpose, and so much else from God. If we had snow day sabbath and snow day community all the time then people would want Christianity more than the disease we sometimes portray it as. So many Christians do not realize what benefit they get from being in relationship with Christ. This is what my sabbath taught me. It taught me about community and rest in Christ. He wants us to have a blast just hanging out with each other at least once a week. I am going to strive this semester to keep my sundays open for sabbath. I know this might mean sacrificing some Friday and Saturday time, but I believe that it will be totally worth it.
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